my last therapist referred me to a group that was mainly online… more of a message board really – but it is policed to keep all the wankers out (apparently, there are people with fetishes for people like us? weird). i decided to give it a try and see.
it was… interesting. everyone in there was nice enough, but like most things in life… there was a wide range of personalities and reasons for being in there. i immediately got the impression for a good portion that it was a sexual thing – and there is nothing wrong with that at all… more power to you – but thats not really me… i mean, i enjoy it, and i can be sexual while wearing things – but not solely for that purpose. there were others that it was a “personal preference” which again… didnt make sense to me – why choose to live a harder life?
there were a few more centered girls that offered some tips and advice. when discussing the topic of how everyone told their spouse or significant other for those that had one – it was met with a lot of mixed results. some swore it would be the downfall of your relationship as that was their experience… others insisted you had to… and some swore that to not do it would be dishonest. i get and agree with all of those points of view.. which is why i was in such a predicament.
for the most part, it was a bunch of girls sitting around talking about the best shops to find stockings that fit… or how to deal with asshole fetishists constantly making unwanted advances (seriously, this was apparently a big problem)… or how to approach ‘the talk’ with someone new in your life. most of the stuff was kind of irrelevant to me, and i noticed that i was slowly becoming jealous of even these girls.
ngl – i did bookmark a few of those sites they mentioned that had some cute stuff 🙂
i gave up on the group after a few weeks. it just made me sad… i got to see pictures of them all out living their lives, being with their families, looking gorgeous… and it was just a constant reminder of what i would never have.
it was kind of my last hope in searching for some guidance in how to talk with my wife. there is no instruction manual for this thing, and ive got barely a clue as to what im doing. its just a matter of thinking… how can i do this, without causing her pain…. and how can i arrange all the information she needs to know in an open and transparent way, and in a pattern that wont scare her shitless in the first sentence. youve read through most of this now… you know it wont be easy.